I don't know about y'all but 2017 got me like...
I mean...let's take inventory...we turn on the news and it's death and destruction all around us. We have a morally deformed Cheeto running our country in the US, natural disasters and terrorism are an almost daily occurrence, and A FREAKING TRAIN FELL OFF A BRIDGE less than 5 miles from my house! How is this real life?!
Get me outta here
As I shuffled the deck for our January monthly forecast, I held my breath. What is on the horizon for us this month? Are we in for another 2017 or something a bit brighter? I can't take any more crazy town....
Here's how 2018 kicks off:
(From left to right) 5 of Swords, The Sun, 8 of Wands Reversed
These cards are telling us a story. The Five of Swords underlines the defeated feeling clouding 2017. We are TIRED after braving the bad news maelstrom that floods our TV screens and our faces in our day to day lives.
We were so busy trying to combat the anger and hatred 2017 threw at us and many of us (including me!) responded with the same argumentative tenor of our counterparts. The Five of Swords underlines this "us against them" attitude. In doing many New Year's readings for clients and for myself, I think it's fair to say we've been collectively lacking focus and reacting rather than being proactive and coming from a purposeful point of view. We won't get anything done in this space. We need a change this new year.
I know I am so tempted to just say, F*&$ it,the world is raging...I think I'll lay in bed and watch Real Housewives....take me out of my TV binge coma once we have Oprah in office...mmk buh bye see you in 7 years.
But..that is no way to live! This mentality directly opposes progress. I know I have had a bit of an apathetic point of view lately and it's hard to get back to it and do what truly matters through the chaos. But...we have to move forward....having a plan is our roadmap out of crazy town. Let's try to play our lame hand no matter how much we want to fold it.
The sun illuminates a new path forward for the start of 2018. We are finally able to see what we were missing in 2017...INTENTION.
The 8 of Wands card shows wands (energies) coalescing into one bright idea. But...we have this card in the reversed position, showing that we have been dividing our energy in too many different, fruitless directions, wasting our time on stuff that doesn't matter.
The 8 of Wands reversed asks us...what is essential? Do that ONE thing.
This month, we are reminded to act with intention. Rather than reacting to EVERYTHING, we can slow down and focus on a singular intention or mantra that can serve as a through line that reverberates positive vibes through every component of our lives. As corny as it is, when we feel more positive, good vibes ooze into the world and we're less likely to encounter a situation like the one we are in again.
I know this is a long term, world peace answer but it just makes sense that if you feel better, others around you will feel better, and they will make their friends feel better and so on.
Let's ditch the status quo
So rather than reacting to everything in front of us, or setting a lofty goal or resolution for 2018, what if we ditched the expectation of accomplishing a specific goal, and instead placed our energy in a singular intention we wish to carry through this year. This way, everything we do would be in service to this intention.
Expectation is the vine in which gratitude wilts.
There's my Confucius moment. Don't get too used to it.
After all, why do we even set goals? So we can feel better in the future. But, instead of focusing on the future outcome, we are focusing on the now, acting with intention and feeling good in the moment. The payoff is almost immediate because we know we are doing something in service of our intention and feeling the way we want to feel on a daily basis.
Normally, I set a resolution for this at this time of year based on a goal. To lose 25 lbs or make a certain amount more a month than I am making now.
The problem with new year's resolutions
It takes a mental leap to jump from a goal to a feeling. The reason for what we are doing can, over time, detach from the goal itself. For example, if you're running to lose 25lbs and you're repeating in your head during the height of your workout "I'm doing this to lose 25 lbs," in my head I would think, F%$k it! Who cares if I'm 25lbs heavier?! It ain't worth it! After all, I could (and have before) lose 25 lbs and feel like garbage or make more money a month and feel unhappy because I'm working myself to the bone. We see our original goal and go:
It's not the goal that keeps a person committed to a lifestyle. It's the WHY and how they feel while pursuing this WHY.
So this year, I'm going to shift from resolutions to intentions and the WHY. Why do I want to lose 25lbs? Because I want to feel comfortable and healthy in my body. This is then my intention. I'm ditching the number all together. If I can work toward FEELING comfortable and healthy in my body, it doesn't matter what the scale says. What we actually want is is the feeling. Not the thing.
the intention of this post
I want to help you shift your resolution so your goal is the byproduct of feeling the way you want to feel. Then you feel good and you may get your goal without even stressing about the deets. The goal is not important because FEELING good is the point of any goal. So do things that make you feel good in service of your intention and get what you want. Sounds like a win win right? Feel good get good things.
Okay, Emily. I'm following you but this doesn't sound like a cake walk yet...
So how do we shift our resolutions to intentions? Well, let me show you:
How to Ditch your New Year's Resolution and get What you Want
1. Name your resolution or goal you want to accomplish.
For example: "Losing weight, making more money, having more date nights with your partner, wanting to have more clients, etc."
2. Identify WHY you want to accomplish this goal.
For example, I want to save $3000 this year. WHY? So I can feel more financially safe and secure and have peace of mind.
Make sure to push enough on this step. The answer should be something along the lines of happiness or peace of mind.
3. State your intention.
Rephrase your WHY statement to include how you want to FEEL. For example:
"This year I want be more financially secure so I can feel peace of mind."
Having the word "feel" in your intention is a good idea because you then have an immediate feeling you can feel rather than having to leap from envisioning something to a feeling.
You may want to save money so you can retire in 30 years. That is a LONG ways away. It isn't a fair competition between buying that Starbucks latte and saving $5 for your retirement fund you'll get in 30 years. Remember, we are instant gratification machines. We gotta make it easy on ourselves to understand WHY we are taking actions as quickly as possible. We need to link our actions to the way we want to feel NOW.
4. Meditate on your intention.
This doesn't have to be intense. Just take a few deep breaths and repeat your intention so it's truly in your mind and heart. Try to imagine the feeling you want to feel when acting on your intention. How may if feel to be financially secure? Maybe you feel warmth or like you are being hugged. You may wish to write your intention a few times in your journal or planner.
5. Answer the question: where may you need to remind yourself of your intention?
To keep with our financial security to feel peace of mind intention, we may need to remind ourselves of this as we buy things. It may be helpful to stick a note our intention in our wallet so when we go to make a purchase, we have our intention looking at us. We can then ask, "is this purchase in alignment with my intention?" This way, we can consult our intention before we spend $300 at Sephora. #guilty
You can then FEEL more financially secure immediately. That's money that is in your account that makes you feel more secure NOW. Not 30 years from now. Sure, your retired self will benefit from your wise choices now, but that is a side effect.
I have the Danielle LaPorte planner and it is fantastic at reminding me of my intentions.
Don't get me wrong, this isn't a perfect pill
We're not going to be perfect all the time but with an intention, we make it easier to behave the way we want to behave so we can feel the way we want to feel. You are then set up to accomplish your goal without even meaning to and contribute to yes, World Peace.
What are your New Year's intentions? Let me know in the comments below!