The sticky hot air of August reminds me of the thick earth at the banks of a lake, where I would sit and sweat, and feel the cool water lapping at my feet. As a kid, I would stay in the safe zone of the shallow end, while I watched my cousins in the deep end, racing from one point to another, disappearing under the surface for a minute or so before they bobbed up, gasping for air, one whooping up his victory. They were in a wild, free, and unsafe place where they couldn't plant their feet on the rocky bottom or grab onto anything to keep them afloat. They relied on themselves to keep safe.
I wanted so badly to go to their end of the lake, the deep end. But I didn't trust my own legs to propel myself there, or my arms to windmill fast enough, or my own mind to feel the thrill of nothing but the push and pull of the water beneath my feet.
So I just sat and watched from the shallow bank and wished I was there, in the deep end.
The Cards Say...
This month, the cards ask: do you trust in your own strength? It's now time to dive into the deep end and know that you are capable of surviving and thriving even in the most challenging conditions. You must dive deep to get what you want.
Here's the techy break down for you Lenormand Learners:
Decks: Rana George Lenormand and Radiant Rider-Waite. US Games.
Bear + Child = New Strength
Bear + Child + Woman = Strength of a Woman/Person (you)
Woman + Fish = Abundance and possibilities of a Woman/Person (you)
7 of Cups, Reversed = Don't get distracted by the shiny objects
Desire is your Diving Board
Whether you know it or not, you are a strength machine. I believe our subconscious stores experiences and know how to use at a later date, like the Bear, so we can conjure them at the right time to make it through a tough situation or, even better, embark upon and execute a goal.
A goal is better of course because it is something that YOU choose. It doesn't happen TO you. You decide, what happens to it.
In order to use this strength for a goal, you must first set an intention. This is by far the hardest part and likely what you have been storing your strength for. Often, our intention is not convenient at all. Our lives are not built in a way where we can drop everything and pursue our passion to volunteer abroad, or start a business making beautiful jewelry, or become a healer.
We can easily talk ourselves out of any goal we have. But...this time, don't.
If you have a nagging feeling deep down that you want to do something else with your life, don't ignore it. Now is the time to dive in.
That desire or intention you have within you is the diving board, high off the ground. We may be standing on the ground, cranking our necks to look up at it, thinking "how the heck am I supposed to get up there?"
I want you to entertain the idea that you can't let go of. What would it feel like to actually start your own business?
You just took a step up that ladder.
You type into Google, how can I plan a volunteer trip abroad?
You took a step.
Pretty soon, you're standing at the top of that diving board, ready to dive in.
But here's the thing...you may be tempted to step backward toward the shallow end and get preoccupied with the surface.
Don't be Distracted by the Shiny Objects
Y'all, we are MASTER procrastinators.
We have shiny object syndrome hard. Here's why:
Consciously knowing what you want is often upsetting to the part of you that LOVES comfort and therefore our brains create illusionary tactics to keep us busy. It tells us things like “lose weight!” “your clothes aren’t nice enough!” “there’s a sale here go buy stuff!” That’s my kryptonite...ugh those sales though. These distractions serve as little faux happy pills that work for awhile, but wear off and leave us unfulfilled and often lonely.
Our unwillingness to take those steps toward the diving board mean we stay in the shallow end, fretting about surface level problems that are symptomatic of our larger fears.
The other thing that causes us to focus on the pretty objects is the doubt we may have in ourselves. You may feel like, how can I actually commit myself to this? Am I even capable?
If you feel this way...I just want you to remember that...
Humans are in Space for God's Sakes
You may think you can't do it but people are in space. Literally, orbiting above our heads. In-freaking-credible.
Humans are goal crushers. People live in Antartica, the Sahara desert, people live in submarines in the ocean. We make impossible things possible.
How do we do this? Through failing. Through trying, failing, trying again, failing, tweaking our goal, then eventually, succeeding.
But, there is something deeper going on than what we see on the surface. We may see an Olympic athlete participate in three Olympics until they finally win, but I bet your bottom dollar that they are doing some serious inner work as well, which all takes place in the deep end. They don't just need to run fast to win a race. They need to dig deep within themselves and remove any obstacles that may be in their way.
The real journey is when we dive to the depths of the deep end and face what is in us. Because often the main thing preventing us from accomplishing or even pursuing what we want are the unknown fear monsters that live in the deep end of ourselves.
What is the Deep End?
The deep end is your subconscious, your inner thoughts and dreams that don’t often see the light of day.
Anytime we want to pursue a goal aligned with our higherself, or our purpose, we must dive into the deepest parts ourselves and see what's there, confront what lives within us and learn to live with it or transform it. Because whatever lies beneath the surface of the deep end, controls us on some level. It's not what scary creatures live there (our deepest fears), instead, its our fear of these deep fears. Woah meta.
Dance with the Piranha
Image Source: http://www.arcanumvet.com/black-dragonfish/
Okay so this isn't a piranha but it's a Black Dragonfish. Same diff, still freaky.
I see these monsters within us representing our shadow self or deep fears we have been harboring for eons. When you bump into one of these deepest fears monster, AKA your deep desire to be in a victim role, or your fear of being alone forever, or whatever it may be. Instead of swimming away in a hurry, try stroking that monster.
Say, “hey, I see ya bucktooth and you’re kinda freaky. But, in a way, I kind of dig you. You are part of me.” Then, next time that freakydeeky monster swims by you, you’ll just nod in acknowledgement. He may even flash his toothy grin at you. Maybe you’ll dance with a demented mermaid. Or salsa with a sea monster. Pretty soon, the dark depths of the deep end aren't so scary. Sure, some creatures may look scary at first but once you get to know them, you realize, it is just another part of you. Don't shun them, dance with them.
Once you get used to the dark, the light is a piece of cake. Every time you resurface, you’ve discovered a new part of yourself. You’ve danced a new dance and acquainted yourself with a new monster. Smile at the sun above you. Be grateful for the light and the dark.
Every once and awhile when you resurface, you’ll come across a fellow deep ender who has just danced with their monster. Grin at each other. Dance with one another.
This, is having fun in the deep end.
Back to the Lake
I finally mustered the gumption to walk across the shallow end to a patch of land that connects to the deep end. I want to be near the action, but...keep me out of it. I convinced myself, I will NOT jump in. I'm not brave enough, strong enough, good enough to swim here. I'm going to dip my feet in and hurl quips at my cousins every now and then.
While my plan was firm in my mind, I felt a jolt to my waist as I was picked up and thrust into the water by my cousin.
He threw me in to the deep end.
The shock of the cool water pulsed through my head through the strands of my hair. Before I even had time to think, I felt my legs propelling me up, my arms swooping down, pushing my head above the water. I gasped for air and looked around.
I was swimming in the deep end and found its the most natural place to be.